My Fake Canadian Wife Read online

  “We’re out of chocolate cupcakes,” Tina whispered, fixing her dark coiled hair under the toque in a nervous twitch. She said it like it was the worst thing that could happen to us. And considering how many people were at the tables, I couldn’t agree more.

  “I’ll talk to the kitchen staff.” I ran to the double doors, warning the girls of our little problem.

  Their faces fell.

  “Dora, help me out!” Paige called me from the deck. With a long sigh, I followed her outside.

  AT THE END of my shift, I threw my body onto the nearest chair on the deck. I just wanted to go home, take a shower and relax. Tomorrow was my day off, and I really needed it. But even the idea of getting on my bike already seemed too much work.

  Paige came out of the storage room, looking as tired as I felt. She sat in the chair beside me, relaxing for a few seconds. But her eyes quickly widened, and she turned to me.

  “Wait, I almost forgot to tell you!” she said in excitement. “Abby agreed to work with us.”

  “Work with us? In what way?”

  “The fake marriage.”

  I groaned. “I’d hoped you’d forgotten about it.”

  “Nope. We’re doing it.”

  “How did you even convince her? That’s too much to ask of someone.”

  “Look, she’s coming here shortly. The two of you can talk it over, and then things will be fine. She’s all on board!”

  I let out a long sigh, crossing my arms, and resting against my chair. Paige smiled encouragingly at me. Just then Abigail arrived. She let her backpack slide off her shoulders, while at the same time scanning the deck carefully until she spotted our table.

  Paige followed my gaze and waved at her friend. I tried to read Abigail’s expression to see if she really was okay with this whole thing, but there was nothing there to give her away. She sat across from Paige with a neutral expression. Her eyes briefly met mine, and I nodded back to acknowledge her presence.

  “Abby, this is my friend and coworker, Dora. Dora, this is Abby,” Paige said as if she were setting us up for a blind date and not for an illegal fake marriage. “I think you two should have a talk to get to know each other, so I’m leaving you to it.”

  I looked at her pleadingly, my eyes begging her to stay, but Paige gave both of us a quick “See you on Monday” before walking off and leaving the pair of us together on the deck.

  At the other side of the table, Abby watched me as if she was waiting for me to start first. I uncrossed my arms, afraid that she’d have the wrong idea about me. Or think I hated her for some reason when I didn’t even know her.

  The silence stretched between us for far too long.

  “I don’t understand why you’re doing this” was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

  Abby’s eyes softened. I had a feeling she was the kind of girl who would usually keep her emotions in check.

  I clicked my nails on the table, waiting for her to say something. Abby fixed her hair behind her ears and that single movement made me angry. I needed her to talk so that I could at least get to know her thinking on this. It was awkward trying to communicate with someone who wasn’t in the same mindset.

  “Paige and I have been friends for a really long time now. When I moved to Toronto, she helped me settle here and showed me how to live in the big city. So let’s just say I owe her, okay?” Abby said. Her voice wasn’t sweet like I was expecting but had a husky undertone to it.

  “Still, that seems like a pretty big thing to do for any friend.”

  Abby bit her lip and placed her backpack on the table between us. She began fidgeting with the straps, seemingly more interested in them than talking to me. “Paige said we should get to know each other,” she said.

  “Okay, then. Tell me about yourself.”

  “There isn’t much,” she said with a shrug. She looked everywhere except at me. “I’m twenty-five, living on my own in the city. I work in the library on College Street, a few blocks from here.”

  A librarian. That explained a lot about her reading habits. There was still nothing to make her stand out, and I needed to know a little more before committing myself to anything. Besides, I’d already had a shitty day at work, and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with someone who didn’t even sound like she wanted to be here.

  “Is Dora a nickname?” she asked.

  “It’s from Isadora.”

  “Never met an Isadora before.”

  “It’s a common name in Brazil, where I come from.”

  Abby nodded. “Paige told me about it. I know the basics.”

  She didn’t tell me anything about you, I wanted to say. But what if that offended her somehow?

  “I was thinking we could meet a few times to do a few training sessions so we could get ready for the interviews and everything.” Abby fixed her hair behind her ear again. I couldn’t tell if she was nervous or trying to be flirty. But the latter wouldn’t make sense.

  “We could write small papers about each other with habits and personal facts at first and then discuss more…deep matters.”

  Wow. She was actually ready for it.

  My face must have shown my surprise because there was a small smirk growing in the corner of Abby’s lips. Maybe there was more to her than met the eye.

  “We can do that,” I said with some hesitation. “Look, I had a really long day, and I really want to go home. I need a good night’s sleep before I’m able to consider this. I can give you my number and let you know if I’m in or not later.”

  Abby frowned, and though it seemed impossible, I’d swear she looked disappointed in my answer. We exchanged numbers, and then I got up to leave.

  “See you around, I guess,” I said and walked out of there.

  What the hell just happened?

  MY LEGS WERE trembling when I finally parked my bike and walked up to my apartment. I got into the shower to relax, but my body was wrecked. I slept all night and then decided to spend my free Sunday relaxing at home.

  I logged into Tumblr and deleted a few messages in my inbox without even reading them. I was over feeling guilty about ignoring people online by now. When I checked my blog, I felt a hint of nostalgia looking at the old pictures I used to take. My brown, bare feet on a random street of São Paulo, Julie’s pale hand against the sun, and even a picture of a blurry bicycle in motion.

  I had nothing new to share now that my camera was a thousand shattered dreams in a garbage can.

  Julie came home at the end of the day and found me lounging in bed, surrounded by my laptop, two blankets, and hot cocoa. She stopped in my doorway with a worried look.

  “Are you sick or something?” she asked.

  “Nah, I have a lot on my mind.”

  Julie came closer, sitting at the edge of my bed.

  “I think I’m getting married,” I said nonchalantly.

  “Wait, what?” Julie’s eyes turned wide. “Just start from the beginning. Because as far as I know, you don’t even have a girlfriend!”

  “I received a letter from immigration. I’m going to be deported soon if I don’t find a way to stay here.”

  “Holy shit. For real?”

  “For real.”

  Julie shifted to stare at the blank walls of my bedroom. She opened her mouth a few times, letting her head fall to her left hand.

  “Who are you marrying?” she asked, looking back at me.

  “Paige’s best friend. I met her today.”

  Julie snorted. “Do you think it’s gonna work?”

  “I have no idea. I guess I’m open to anything at the moment, and then I’ll consider what might actually work.”

  “Weighing options.”

  “Kind of like that. And hey, I’m open to more suggestions if you have any.”

  “Sorry, I got nothing,” Julie said, walking to the door. “Congratulations, then! You’re about to be a married woman.”

  I hid my face under my pillow with a groan, trying to ignore Julie’s loud laughte
r, but she came back and pulled it from my arms, slouching beside me.

  “You really need to unwind, Dora. Just for tonight,” she said. “Cam and I are going to a party. Are you in?”

  I didn’t answer right away, considering the offer.

  “Free booze!” Julie said in a singsong voice.

  I smiled, rolling my eyes. Maybe a night out would help me feel less stressed about my life.

  Chapter Three

  THE PARTY WAS in an apartment a few blocks from ours, and it was already in full swing when we arrived. I didn’t know most of the people, but I could see a few familiar faces from the other times Julie had dragged me to her parties.

  I followed her and her girlfriend, Cam, to an empty couch close to the windows, where we sat. Since we hadn’t stopped to greet anyone, I had no idea who the host was, and Julie was no help as she merely waved at a few of her friends before snuggling up to Cam.

  Cam was short and skinny, with shoulder-length, straight brown hair and light-brown skin. Together, they made a cute couple, Cam’s femme ways contrasting with Julie’s more masculine attitude.

  As she sat, Julie whispered something I couldn’t understand in Cam’s ear, making her laugh. One of the very few things that annoyed me about them was their coupley behavior when the three of us hung out together; I felt like a third wheel. Lately, they were always talking in Vietnamese. It used to be French until Julie realized I had picked up a few phrases, so Cam, who came from a Vietnamese-Canadian family, began teaching her a few words.

  “Want a beer?” Julie asked. I looked over her shoulders and spotted an ice bucket full of beer.

  “Yes. Pass me one of those.”

  Julie reached for it, giving each of us a can.

  “Tastes like pee,” Cam said, taking a few more sips before giving up. Julie would probably finish the can later.

  Some guys moved to the kitchen, giving me a full view of a hot girl with purple hair. A few people were trying to chat her up, but she was looking straight at me. I bit my lower lip, wondering if I should go over there and try my luck. It had been a while.

  “Anyone catching your attention, Dora?” Cam asked. She gave me one of her trademark smirks when I looked back at her, barely moving her lips. Cam liked to tease me a lot.

  “None of your business.”

  On the other side of the room, purple-hair girl still looked at me. She smiled, raising her beer in invitation. I decided to play a little hard to get, resting my back against the couch and looking away.

  “How’s your new project going?” I asked the girls.

  Cam gave me a little pout. “Slow.”

  “It’s getting there,” Julia said. “We’re almost done with the screenplay, and then we have to find actors, locations, etc.”

  I took another sip of my beer and cringed. Cam was right; this one wasn’t that great. “What about the short movie you made last year?”

  Julie brushed her dark bangs out of her face. “Didn’t go through. The professor said we were trying too hard. That our story was turning into melodramatic extravagance. We’re trying for something less explosive this year, and more…”

  “I think we need more emotion on the screen and less word dump,” Cam finished for her.

  “Exactly!” Julie said.

  I didn’t understand what they were talking about but nodded as if I did. Julie had a tendency to write long passages of dialogue that were hard for an audience to keep up with, as far as I could see. But with Cam helping, she could get better. One of her short movies from her freshman year even got into an LGBT+ festival. She was good like that in her art.

  I scanned the room again, but couldn’t see purple-hair girl anymore.

  “I’m going to the bathroom. Be right back.”

  I walked through the small crowd, trying not to bump into any of them. But when I stepped into the corridor, I realized I didn’t know where the bathroom was. Well, at least there were only three doors, so it wasn’t as if it would be hard to find. When I tried the first one, someone grabbed me by the hand, and I stumbled into the bathroom I was looking for.

  I turned around to find purple-hair girl smiling at me.

  She was a lot prettier up close. And taller. I was average, but with those long legs of hers, she was practically supermodel height. There was a cute piercing in her nose, and I thought I was going to die right there from how hot she was.

  “You okay there? My name’s Amy, by the way.”

  “I’m okay, thanks. I’m Dora.”

  “Nice to meet you, Dora. Wanna make out?”

  Straight to the point. Just the kind of girl I loved.

  She moved at the same time I nodded yes. At first, her lips tasted like cheap beer, but then her hands were all over my hair and neck, and I couldn’t think about anything other than her tongue inside my mouth.

  There were very few things that would turn me off from a hot girl. Beer would never be one of them unless the person was completely inebriated.

  I placed my hands on Amy’s waist, slowly pulling on her shirt. Her pale skin was smooth and warm. I could spend all night touching and kissing her like this.

  But after a few minutes, someone knocked on the door behind me.

  “I need to pee, please!” A whisper came through.

  I broke the kiss and opened my eyes to see Amy’s cheeky smile. “I’m going to another party. Wanna join me?” Amy raised one of her eyebrows, and I had an idea about what kind of party she was talking about. One where we’d get super drunk, and I’d wake up naked in her bed the following morning.

  I sighed, hating the rational part of my brain. “Sorry, but not tonight. I’m here with friends.”

  “Too bad. You’re a good kisser.”

  She winked at me and opened the door. The small curvy girl on the other side looked at me with wide eyes as Amy left. “Sorry about interrupting,” she said guiltily.

  “It wasn’t going anywhere. Don’t worry.”

  Sighing, I rejoined Cam and Julie on the couch. From the corner of my eye, I saw them exchange a look before they turned to face me.

  “Need a refresh?” Julie offered me another beer.

  I nodded, and for the next hour, they took care of getting me as drunk as possible. That was what I loved most about being friends with them. No matter what, we’d always have each other’s back on nights like this. I knew I could drink until I fell asleep, and Julie would take me back home. We had done that many times over the past years.

  “I was thinking…” I said, struggling to get the words out of my mouth. My lips were dry, and my mind was getting blurry by then.

  “You were thinking? Tell us about it,” Cam said in a serious voice.

  “None of this makes sense.” I made a wide gesture to the room. “The world! Like why are human beings so damn selfish? Why do we act as if the world belongs to us? We build houses, streets, and fucking destroy everything so we can live here and dictate where others can go. What about the animals? Why do we think we rule this damn world?”

  I fell back onto the couch with a loud groan. I hated everything at the moment. These clothes on my body, the walls around us. Nothing made sense.

  “Sweetie, it’s all fucked up,” Cam said.

  “That’s why I like you, Cam. You understand.” I pinched her cheeks. She smiled, clearly amused by my drunkenness.

  “Another one?” Julie pointed to my empty beer.

  “Oh, better not,” Cam said. “I think the babe here needs some water.”

  I tried to complain, but deep down, I knew she was right.

  “Juuules, my life is a mess.”

  “It’s okay, Dora. You’re gonna stay here. We’ll find a way. Think about all your options.”

  I knew she meant well, but I should have found a way ages ago or thought about options before I finished my degree. Now I was at a crossroads in my life with no idea which way to turn.

  It wasn’t the first time I’d felt this helpless. Back home, I’d wasted so many years
waiting for something to happen, for my life to change on its own.

  That’s when I realized it had to come from me. No one else could make decisions for me.

  Chapter Four

  FOR THE NEXT week, Paige decided she was going to be our helper in the fake marriage scheme. She was always cornering me in the store to ask if I was still on board, to which I answered I was considering the offer.

  I was about to leave the café when I got my first message from Abigail. She was listed as “fake fiancé” in my phone, and I realized that wasn’t a good impression to give if I was about to commit a crime, so I quickly changed it to her name before reading the message.

  What’s your favorite food?

  I stopped in my tracks and took a look around, but there was only me and the bikes in the parking lot behind the kitchen. I could play around with this without actually engaging on the fake act to the end, right?

  I’m quite fond of barbecue. But not the ones you guys have here… I’m talking about proper Brazilian barbecue.

  Oh. I went to a Brazilian restaurant once in Beaconsfield. It’s really good.

  I smiled at her message. I stayed a moment longer there beside my bike, waiting for an answer.

  A minute later, my phone beeped again.

  I like donuts a lot.

  The ones with strawberry and chocolate on top, right?

  I regretted sending the message right away. What if she thought I was spying on her or something? So maybe I had paid attention to her order, but that was my job.

  Exactly :)

  The messages kept coming after that. Abby would ask little things two or three times a day, and I’d answer as soon as I could. We didn’t have that much in common, but I couldn’t deny how much fun we had as I got to know her.

  So far, I knew her favorite color was yellow, and she hated onions and wearing dresses. I didn’t understand the why of the last one. Since I was always riding my bike around, I had to wear pants most of the time, so whenever I had the chance to wear my dresses, I’d jump at the opportunity. I saved this information about Abby for later, wondering if I’d ever get the chance to know her beyond these little fragments.